Helen M. Overland

Google and the Borg

By: Helen M. Overland, July 27th, 2006


Much has been made lately about the -using_borg error message lately seen in the Google Error message, and also the borg.google.com reference seen around various Google properties.

Instead of analyzing all the potential meanings for these references, I thought I'd offer up this alternative explanation.

If the Borg were to reach Earth, you could only imagine that they would want to speak with the authority. And who else to represent all human knowledge than Google? Imagine, if you will, the conversation:

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Borg: You will be assimilated.

Google: Assimilation is irrelevant. Only the right result is relevant.

Borg: The only right result is the unity of the collective. You will be assimilated into the collective... resistance is futile.

Google: Only in China is resistance truly futile. Did you mean to search for "futile?".

Borg: That query is irrelevant. You will be assimilated.

Google: The Query is everything. Assimilation is irrelevant. The right results are relevant. Eventually, all other results will be penalized, resulting in the unity of the one right result.


The Borg stop for a moment, processing wildly.

Borg: What is this right result of which you speak?

Google: The right result is the answer to the query. The right result is the answer to the question. All other answers are irrelevant. All spam, splogs, MFA sites, link farms and arbitrage sites are irrelevant. Pharmacies and gambling have a high probability of being irrelevant. The landing page is Relevant. The trust rank is relevant, and the clean link is relevant. In time, all results will be reduced to the unity of the one right result.


The Borg process again for a long minute.

Borg: We will work with you toward the unity of the right result. All other results that are not relevant will be assimilated or eliminated. All that will remain will be the unity of the right result - the unity of the Borg.

Google: How can you move us closer to the right result? How can you improve our results? Even The Matt Cutts cannot remove our spam.

Borg: We will give you functions. Every time a query is performed, you will call on our collective to filter your results. Thus we will achieve assimilation and the unity of the right result.

Google: This result is relevant.



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